As the Ruin Falls
All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you.
I never had a selfless thought since I was born.
I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through:
I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, re-assurance, pleasure, are the goals I seek,
I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin:
I talk of love --a scholar's parrot may talk Greek--
But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack.
I see the chasm. And everything you are was making
My heart into a bridge by which I might get back
From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.
For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains
You give me are more precious than all other gains.
A poem by C.S. Lewis written after he lost his wife of two years to cancer.
Lately it seems that more often than not I feel my eyes betraying me by beginning to flood with tears. I share this not to gain your sympathy, but again to state that "Yes, dear. I'm imperfect and perfectly human".
Anyway, this was actually one of my favourite poems before my Mom passed away. I remember when I told her that it was my favourite. :) But now I understand it a lot better. Enjoy!
I hope you can understand its message and apply it to your life too.
Expect a miracle!
-Liana S.
