Beautiful Things
Cancer. Sadness. Death. The first words that come to your mind when you think of suffering, sorrow, and pain. The first words you might ignore because it hurts you on the inside, reminding you of foul memories from the past of losing a very close loved one. These were the first thoughts that came to my mind when I heard these three strong and harmful words. Sadly, I’ve experienced losing a loved one. I’ve walked a road where I had to feel sorrow and pain. My Mom died six years ago from stage 4 lung cancer on November 21, 2011 at 2:14am. It was one month after her 47th birthday. I’m Samantha Joy, the youngest of her 3 daughters. When she died, I was only six years old, so I do not remember much about her final days or about her as a person. What I do know is that everybody admired her and saw her as their 2nd mom. She was sweet, quiet, and very, very patient. I’m very glad and absolutely thankful that I’m surrounded by my closest family and friends to tell me all about her. The most common memory I frequently hear from them is that she saw the best in people, had the best advice, a very quiet and patient woman, very talented, and everybody claimed her as their favorite aunt. Here is her story, as told through the eyes of her closest family and friend, so you may get to know her a little better, from the beginning of her life, all the way until the end.
Mom as a child
Mom was born on October 20, 1964 in the city of San Francisco, California. She was given to Virginia and Jaime Espiritu, and they gave her the name Agnes Espiritu. Mom has one older brother named Jaime Jr. She and her family lived in Daly City, a city outside of San Francisco. She moved twice, once to Rio Verde Street, and then to the street, my grandma, who we call “Mama,” still lives at today!
Mama Remembers
A memory Mama remembers about Mom is when they visited the Philippines to see their close relatives. They stayed for 2 weeks, but had planned to stay longer. My mom was very young (about toddler-aged) when she travelled to the Philippines. Mama told me Mom cried and wailed all the time because she longed to return home. She could not stand the miserable heat anymore and she always complained about the food they had to eat. They went home earlier than they expected. My older sister, Liana, remembers Mom stating to her, “I didn’t know Mama came from the province and that she was poor growing up, so I was horrified by the giant bugs and having to bathe outside in a tin bath basin. And I was very confused because everywhere I went, I saw the name, St. Agnes.”
Mama also remembers when Mom had to have a painful back surgery because she had scoliosis. Scoliosis is a painful disease that she had built into her spine making her spine curve into an abnormal shape, it usually curves into an “S” or “C” shape. Mama felt so sorry for Mom because she had to wear a very uncomfortable body cast for 6 months. She was a very active child before her surgery, even fearless of climbing tall trees. Unfortunately, after her surgery, she wasn’t as active anymore.
What Mama misses the most about Mom is her quiet and good attitude towards her parents, and that she never got in trouble because of her good behavior.
Auntie Christine Remembers
Mom met her best friend, my Godmother, Christine Leong (Auntie Christine), in their early 20’s at their church youth group. Mom was known as the quiet one in the youth group. Some of Auntie Christine’s fondest memories with mom is when they would meet at Starbucks for girl talks and enjoy each other’s company. They always met at Starbucks because Auntie Christine knew Mom was a big coffee drinker.
One thing that bothered Auntie Christine the most is that Mom would almost always be late, but she knew it wasn’t always her fault. On the other hand, what she absolutely loved about Mom is that she made everyone laugh, she always saw the best in people, she always enjoyed every moment, she was very, very kind, she had a big heart, she was hospitable, and she gave others the best advice.
Auntie Christine’s favorite meal Mom would make was linguini. Auntie Christine liked it so much, she named it after mom and she called it “Linguini de Augi.” Auntie Christine said Mom always wanted to learn to cook new dishes because she wanted to feed her kids well.
Dad Remembers
Mom and Dad met at Mom’s church, Faith Bible Church (FBC). After they met, Dad left his church, Open Door, so he could attend FBC with Mom. Dad told me Mom’s first job was as an office assistant at a law office and she started working once she was 16 years old, but her dream job as a child was being a stewardess. Mom and Dad had their first date at a Filipino restaurant near her work. After they’ve dated for a while, Dad finally proposed, which was the exciting moment Mom was longing for. She was extremely jubilant, excited, and happy. Dad said he proposed as soon she stopped bugging him about marriage.
People thought Mom and Dad’s marriage wouldn’t last long, so they had a “secret wedding” (a civil ceremony) at City Hall in San Francisco on June 14, 1989 at 11:55am. They had a 3 minute ceremony and only one person got to attend their wedding—my Uncle David, Auntie Christine’s husband. Before Mom and Dad got married, Auntie Christine was very upset and disappointed because my dad didn’t mention to her they were going to get married, sadly, she didn’t get to attend their “secret wedding” but she was still really excited and happy for them. To announce their marriage, Mom and Dad used fortune cookies. On the small piece of paper inside were the words, “Guess who got M’ed?” Everyone was confused when they laid eyes on the words on the fortune, but once they finally figured it out, everybody was extremely loud and very, very happy.
A year after their “secret wedding,” 200 people attended Mom and Dad’s second wedding at Christ for all Nations Lutheran church on June 16, 1990. They were the first couple in their church to have a DJ at their wedding. For their reception, they had a really nice view of the Golden Gate Bridge and the theme of their wedding was 90’s style. Mom planned and organized her whole wedding and even made the bridesmaid dresses, flower girl dresses, and her own wedding dress. The bridal party wore satin blue and the flower girls wore white. Liana always tells me, “On the day of her wedding, she was exhausted and bothered by the look of her makeup, but she was in a rush to her ceremony because she had to rent the car that day since Dad wasn’t old enough.”
Two years after their big wedding party, Mom and Dad had their very first child, Desiree Alyson Seisa, born on March 21, 1992. In 1994, they had their 2nd child, Liana Lauren Seisa, born on February 23rd. Finally, they had their last child, me, Samantha Joy Seisa, born on September 21, 2005.
Dad’s favorite meals that mom would make for dinner is chicken and mushroom pasta. My dad remembers she made very easy and simple meals. Her favorite holiday was Christmas. She would celebrate it by decorating the house with loads of décor, set up a very fancy table setting, and always tried her hardest to make it feel special for the family.
Desiree Remembers
My oldest sister, Desiree, treasures this memory the most—Mom’s final and last birthday with us. Every year we got her favorite cake, a fruit tart from Freeport Bakery. Since Desiree worked at a boba shop, she also got mom her favorite drink, which was the avocado milkshake. Desiree treasures Mom’s last Mother’s Day at our old house on San Remo Street in Elk Grove. That Mother’s Day, we got mom a mango cake and took a family photo all together while playing the song “Mama” by Boys II Men.
Three things Desiree loved about mom were: she always saw the best in people despite their bad reputation or what they’ve done wrong in the past, she always supported Desiree’s passion for dance, and she brought her everywhere like church, dance, parties, and everywhere she needed to go.
Mom was very crafty and creative. She always had time to sit down for a while to scrapbook with Desiree. What bothered and annoyed Desiree the most about mom was that Mom would sometimes favor Liana instead of her. Now that Desiree looks back, she realizes it was okay because she was a very stubborn teenage child. What also annoyed Desiree is when Mom wasn’t able to help her in math because she wouldn’t listen to her when mom was trying to help her.
Desiree’s favorite foods that mom would make was pesto pasta, spam musubi, and fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies. Her favorite, unforgettable childhood birthday was the Hawaiian Luau that Mom planned for her 12th birthday. It was one of the largest birthday parties that Desiree had in her childhood. She had a dolphin piñata, Polaroid pictures as the favors, cheerful Hawaiian music, a girls sleepover, and grass skirts everywhere.
Liana remembers
Liana, my older sister, misses the drives she and mom had together the most. Whenever they rode in the car together, they would drive in peace and quiet enjoying the comfortable silence, without radio or music. Liana also misses when Mom would unexpectedly clean her room and she would come home to an arranged and organized bedroom.
One of the most memorable and fun birthdays Liana had that mom planned for her was her 12th birthday party. She visited the Build-A-Bear store to build a bear and had a sleepover with 2 of her best friends. Things she loved the most about Mom was that she always gave the best advice, they always had something to laugh about together, and they got along really well and rarely fought. Liana’s favorite meals that mom cooked was sundried tomato pasta, chicken katsu, spaghetti, fried rice, pancakes, and her absolute favorite—chocolate chip cookies.
And this concludes her beautiful story. She was once an empty journal waiting for her story to be written, and now here it is. It’s laid out from beginning to end, starting from her childhood all the way until her death. Even though she concluded her life with a rough ending, it still turned out to be a lovely and the results of her story has beautiful things. Here are a few more things that I know and miss about her most. What I miss the most about Mom is listening to her quiet and gentle voice and having quality time together in the morning when she dropped me off at school. I loved most about her is, she always had time to spend time with me and she let me cook or bake whatever I had in mind. I remember when we frequently had camp outs in the living room together watching my favorite movie just us two together. And my favorite part about our “sleepovers” together was, she let me eat snacks if I was hungry but I wouldn’t have to brush my teeth again after. Lastly, I wish she was still here for my birthday celebrations every year, watching my sisters and I grow older as the years pass by, and give me her best advice when I go through hard times.
*For more information about her time at the hospital, visit her website www.agneseseisa.blogspot.com
